November 13, 2024

Sensitive women (and HSP women) move through life in a way that is so different from other people. Whether listening to a friend share a challenge, scrolling through online, or stepping outside and sensing the earth… we often feel it all. 

It’s like standing by the ocean, where waves constantly rush up to our feet. Sometimes they’re gentle, calming, and reassuring. Other times, they’re forceful and overwhelming—thunderous, crashing waves that shake us to our core. As sensitive women, we naturally tune into the frequencies around us, feeling with intensity. While this ability is an incredible gift, we’re not always aware we have a choice: Is it worth my energy?

This question, small yet powerful, can guide us in preserving our peace as we experience the currents around us. Sometimes staying centered within ourselves means knowing when to lean in and when to let go. We will explore a few ways to safeguard our well-being, so we can keep contributing to the world without losing ourselves along the way. 

Compassion vs. Empathy

Over the last few years, I have tried to learn more about what it means to be a highly sensitive person. I have found it to be equally challenging and wonderful. I was grateful to come across a powerful concept that has stuck with me: operating from a place of compassion rather than empathy.

This doesn’t mean that we change anything about who we are. Being an empath, sensitive or highly sensitive person is good. However, we can choose a new approach in how we engage with others' emotional frequencies.

Coming from empathy can sometimes feel like absorbing others’ emotions as our own. My naturopath humorously calls it “being an emotional toilet.” She often reminds me I don’t need to carry others’ emotions this way, especially when it affects my own well-being.

I see this with many of the women I work with, too. When structuring their services, they often express the strain of over-delivering or contorting their schedules to accommodate clients’ needs. Some of this comes from the norms in their industry, but much of it stems from their natural sensitivity and care. They often feel compelled to give more and struggle to hold back when they sense a client’s need. This well-intentioned giving can lead to carrying emotional weight that isn’t theirs to hold, oftentimes resulting in burnout. 

In our sessions, we work together to establish ways to communicate clear expectations and reinforce boundaries from the start. We review scheduling to find a balance that respects both their clients’ needs and their own. The relief they feel when they realize it’s possible to help others while protecting their energy is incredible. When we tap into that compassionate frequency, it opens us up to more sustainable and fulfilling possibilities.

Operating from compassion allows us to care without becoming entangled. Compassion lets us act thoughtfully to support others, while still holding on to our own sense of self. We accept people for where they are, and help them with our natural healing and creative goodness. With this mindset, we can maintain healthy boundaries and without extending ourselves beyond what truly feels right.

Observer vs. Active Participant

Sometimes, caring deeply doesn’t mean we have to stand in the center of others’ experiences. Instead, sensitive women can be like an observer. This gentle shift creates a bit of space between us and the energies around us. When we’re in the observer role, we can still be empathetic, but we can do so without the intensity of others’ emotions.

In this way, it’s like standing at the edge of a lake rather than wading into the water. When we’re on the shore, we can watch what’s happening and pay close attention. By observing, we’re not closing ourselves off, we’re simply protecting our energy field – staying grounded within ourselves while showing up for those in our lives.

When the U.S. election took place last week, I chose to approach it as an observer. In past elections, I’d felt stress rattle through my body to the point where it disrupted my sleep and appetite. This time, I set an intention to maintain calm. I limited my news intake and avoided social media. I prepared myself through intuition and energetic practices (such as listening to a few astrology predictions). When the results came in, I found myself able to handle them with a sense of acceptance; not necessarily liking the results. This allowed me to be there for friends and family as they processed their emotions. I felt grounded in offering that support.

Adopting the observer role allows us to approach situations with a calm, gentle presence. It gives us a chance to assess, reflect, and respond thoughtfully. We can focus on bringing care and comfort to those around us. This way we aren’t reacting or becoming overwhelmed. We can stay connected to humanity without feeling swept up by its emotional currents.

Choosing Where to Invest Your Energy

There are many nuances to all of this, as each sensitive person carries a unique background and layered identity. Sometimes, we can’t help but get fully invested in the emotions surrounding us. My intention here is to offer gentle guidance for being more mindful of where your energy is going. Sensitive women often experience life with such intensity that these energetic exchanges can impact their well-being.

Taking time to pause and assess where your energy is going can be transformative. A simple way might be to ask yourself: “Will this bring me peace, or will it drain me?” 

When you feel drawn into a situation, practice taking a small step back to tune in to your inner response. Are you giving out of a genuine wish to help, or does it feel more like an obligation? When you regularly check in, you can start making choices that align with your energy rather than depleting it.

Remember, your energy is precious. Being intentional with where you invest your energy, you’re not only caring for yourself. In doing so, you’re also creating space for more meaningful connections with those who respect you and your natural gifts. 

Trust yourself, you know yourself. ~Angela

Are there practices you’ve found helpful for setting boundaries or protecting your energy? You’re invited to share about your work in the comments. Always enjoy hearing your perspective and ideas.

Hello and welcome. I’m Angela.

I support sensitive women solopreneurs as a thought partner, drawing on 10 years of experience as a public educator. I believe a sustainable business thrives when aligned with your natural rhythms and energy, allowing for a fulfilling life and time to create. My writings blend practical strategies with empathetic support. If you seek a business that honors your sensitivity, values, and quality of life, you’re in the right place. I am glad you are here.